I want to live my next life backwards!
You start out dead and get
that out of the way right off the bat.
Then, you wake up in a nursing
home feeling better every day.
When you are kicked out of the home for
being too healthy,
you spend several years enjoying your retirement
collecting benefit checks.
When you start work, you get a gold
watch on your first day.
You work 40 years or so,
every day until pretty soon you're too young to work.
So then, you go
to high school: play sports, date, drink, and party.
As you get even
younger, you become a kid again.
You go to elementary school, play,
and have no responsibilities.
In a few years, you become a baby and
everyone runs themselves
ragged keeping you happy.
You spend your last
9 months floating peacefully in luxury,
spa-like conditions: central
heating, room service on tap.
You finish off as an
I rest my case.