1. You take your dog for a walk and
you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more
than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
3. Your boat has not left the driveway
in 15 years.
4. You burn your yard rather than mow
6. The Salvation Army declines your
7. You offer to give someone the shirt
off your back and they don't want it.
8. You have the local taxidermist on
9. You come back from the dump with
more than you took.
10. You keep a can of Raid on the
11. Your wife can climb a tree faster
than your cat.
12. Your grandmother has 'ammo' on her
13. You keep flea and tick soap in the
14. You've been involved in a custody
fight over a hunting dog.
15. You go to the stock car races and
don't need a program.
16. You know how many bales of hay
your car will hold.
17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
18. Your house doesn't have curtains,
but your truck does.
19. You wonder how service stations
keep their rest-rooms so clean.
20. You can spit without opening your
21. You consider your license plate
personalized because your father made it.
22. Your lifetime goal is to own a
23. You have a complete set of
bowls and they all say 'Cool Whip' on the side.
24. The biggest city you've ever been
to is Wal-Mart.
25. Your working TV sits on top of
your non-working TV.
26. You've used your ironing board as
a buffet table.
27. You've used a toilet brush to
scratch your back.
28. You missed your 5th grade
graduation because you were on jury duty.
29. You think fast food is hitting a
deer at 65.