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It's
possible to understand Engineers.
Where there's a will, there's a way.
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Understanding Engineers #1
Two engineering students
were biking across a university
campus when one said, "Where did
you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied,
"Well, I was walking along
yesterday, minding my own
business, when a beautiful woman
rode up on this bike, threw it
to the ground, took off all her
clothes and said,
"Take what you want."
The first
engineer nodded approvingly and
said,
"Good choice, The clothes
probably wouldn't have fit you
anyway."
Understanding Engineers #2
To the optimist, the glass is
half-full.
To the pessimist, the glass is
half-empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice
as big as it needs to be.
Understanding Engineers #3
A priest, an
ophthalmologist, and an engineer
were golfing one morning behind
a particularly slow group of
golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with
those guys?
We must have been waiting for
fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in,
"I don't know, but I've never
seen such inept golf!"
The priest said,
"Here comes the greens keeper.
Let's have a word with him."
He said, "Hello, George. What's
wrong with that group ahead of
us?
They're rather slow, aren't
they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh,
yes. That's a group of blind
firemen.
They lost their sight saving our
clubhouse from a fire last year,
so we let them play for free
anytime."
The group fell silent for a
moment. Then the priest said,
"That's so sad. I think I'll say
a special prayer for them."
The ophthalmologist added, "Good
idea. And maybe I could examine
them to see if there's anything
I can do for them."
They were silent for a moment.
Then the engineer said, "Why
can't they play at night?"
Understanding Engineers #4
What is the difference
between mechanical engineers and
civil engineers?
Mechanical
engineers build weapons.
Civil engineers build targets.
Understanding Engineers
#5
The graduate with a
science degree asks, "Why
does it work?"
The graduate with an
engineering degree asks,
"How does it work?"
The graduate with accounting
degree asks, "How much will
it cost?"
The graduate with an arts
degree asks, "Do you want
fries with that?"
Understanding Engineers
#6
Three engineering
students were gathered
together discussing who must
have designed the human
body. One said, "It was a
mechanical engineer.
Just look at all the
joints."
Another said, "No, it was an
electrical engineer.
The nervous system has many
thousands of electrical
connections."
The last one said, "No,
actually it had to have been
a civil engineer.
Who else would run a toxic
waste pipeline adjacent to a
recreational area?"
Understanding Engineers
#7
Normal people believe
that if it ain't broke,
don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it
ain't broke, it doesn't have
enough features yet.
Understanding
Engineers #8
An engineer was
crossing a road one day,
when a frog called out
to him and said, "If you
kiss me, I'll turn into
a beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up
the frog, and put it in
his pocket.
The frog spoke up again
and said, "If you kiss
me, I'll turn back into
a beautiful princess and
stay with you for one
week."
The engineer took the
frog out of his pocket,
smiled at it
and returned it to the
pocket.
The frog then cried out,
"If you kiss me and turn
me back into a princess,
I'll stay with you for
one week and do anything
you want."
Again, the engineer took
the frog out,
smiled at
it
and put it back into his
pocket.
Finally, the frog asked,
"What is the matter?
I've told you I'm a
beautiful princess and
that I'll stay with you
for one week and do
anything you want. Why
won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said,
"Look, I'm a busy
engineer.
I don't have time for a
girlfriend. But a
talking frog, now that's
cool!"
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